Monday, September 27, 2010

20 things Auntie Says..from FG

Tommy got me started. Blame him...;-)
Auntie says,
1. Any action taken based on unquestioned belief is evil.
“Do be do be do” -Frank Sinatra
2. Everything in moderation, including moderation.
3. People do shit. They have reasons for doing shit. IN THAT ORDER.
4. Intention is an action subroutine of the ability to imagine ourselves in some possible future. Belief in that intention is a parasite that increases consumption rates, and therefore increases reproduction and drives even more belief and more consumption. Belief in the illusion of free choice prevents moderation of belief.
5. Cold fusion is not cold.
6. Anything you think you know for sure is probably fucking wrong.
7. Hope is what got the Jews to get on the trains.
8. Resistance may be futile, but then, so is cooperation. It’s just a matter of timing.
9. Love is a chemical reaction in our bodies to natural phenomena. It is not “the answer”. It is not God. It is the sexy part of fucking.
10. Death is not a question, nor a beginning, nor a doorway. It is the End of an individual: a bargain we received in exchange for sex. If we didn’t die, we wouldn’t need to reproduce. If we didn’t reproduce, we wouldn’t adapt fast enough to fit the environment as the environment changes.
11. There is no “meaning” to the universe. It just fucking IS. That is the distilled wisdom of God: “I Am”. If you understand this, then you can understand the lack of a need for a god.
12. Ideas are like armpits: everyone usually has at least two and they both stink, and someone else has two just like them, only cheaper.
13. An idea is not property. You don’t own the fucking universe. It allows you to exist out of sheer chance. Contribute to its future or die.
14. Money is Soylent Green.
15. Time is not a dimension. It is a comparative sequence of events. Measurement of time is an oxymoron. You don’t “measure” it, you create it with a clock.
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime; doubly so.” -Douglas Adams
16. There is only one universe. That’s why it’s called that.
17. There is nothing supernatural. It would be “outside” the universe, and by definition, could not exist. There ARE many things that are unexplained. Belief won’t change what they are or are not.
18. My border collie is probably smarter than your honor student’s principal, and she rolls in rotten animals to smell good. She just doesn’t believe in it as a methodology.

added:
19. Inertia sucks.
20. "Dig your heels firm unto dirt-- and where is the dirt going?" -Frank Herbert, "The Jesus Incident"

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Slow down. Be nice. It's probably not worth it.